When the webs in my house get out of control, I have to vacuum up the spiders. Once I suck them up, they sit in the canister and talk about how to get back at me while I sleep. They plan to make bigger, more elaborate webs, gradually closer and closer to my head. And one day I will wake up and my face will be stuck in a huge spider web and I will try to scream, but when I breathe in, I'll just breathe in an especially thick, intricate web and I will slowly choke and cry myself to death.
