Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Hamburgers and Intestines

How often do you eat hamburgers? It seems many people eat hamburgers only once or twice a year. They, like, keep track.

Why is that? Is it because the hamburgers get stuck in their intestines? And cause discomfort? And the discomfort in turn causes nightmares? Nightmares about huge, faceless, humanoid, communist potato bugs and the impending apocalypse?

I'm sure there are plenty of truckers out there who eat nothing but hamburgers and beef jerky and drink energy drinks and take speed and I bet many of them live well into their thirties, right?

Right?!?

4 comments:

Claire Becker said...

This blog is scary. Do you only post after midnight?

J said...

christ jared, i thought living on the left coast was supposed to make people happy. sounds like you need to come visit new york for a shot in the arm. or maybe you should just go watch the dear sister clip on youtube. 60% of the time, it works for me everytime.

Jared said...

Nobody's answering my questions.

Claire Becker said...

1) i don’t keep track
2) no it’s not because they get stuck in our intestines. wait, that sounds plausible. maybe.
3) no nightmares.
4) no nightmares about those things.
5) yes
6) yes